I cried daily for about five years. At first it was over my divorce, my pain, my losses, my dashed dreams and frustrated plans. I thought something was wrong with me. Then at some point, my grief grew to be for my great grandmothers, their daughters, and their homelands. And soon it was for our ecosystems, the animals, modern society, and even for the oppressors. Eventually I realized my grief tears were somehow nourishing me.

 

Grief opened my soul. I now identify less as just this individual body, and more as part of the greater body of humanity and the living body of our earth, in all directions of time. And with it, my fear of loss has lessened, especially fear of death. I’ve come to know that I exist on both sides of all coming and going, beyond birth and death. This is why I hold grief as central to spiritual life.

 

I ask you, when you feel laughter welling within, do you hold back? And when you feel tears forming in that same well, do you allow them their fullest expression? When the fire of anger ignites within you, where does it go? Does it take you over, do you stuff it down, or do you channel it's expression? When wonder comes for you, do you let her whisk you away? Did you notice her presence beside you today? I ask you: Are you really here for your life? Are you sharing yourself with your life?

 

I spent the first part of my life running from my pain, analyzing it, projecting it, numbing it, forgetting it, explaining it, being crippled by it, and writhing in it. And then finally... I sat with it. And I found that sitting with it is my superpower. I found that I could become the medicine I was seeking.

 

Through dedicated practice, I have expanded my capacity to hold a kind and accepting presence, keeping company with even the most awful experiences in my life. I’ve learned that as humans, our lives are dictated by what we are unwilling to accept, and our emotional healing lies in opening to all of it.

 

Opening to grief moves us to higher ground. It’s alchemical. It transforms our suffering into the sacred land of our soul. Grief tears are holy water. Grief is not just an emotion and it’s not something we need counseling for. It's something we are invited to tend. Tending grief is a skill to develop and a fundamental faculty of the human soul.

 

As a well-grieved human and devoted student of cultivating Presence, I offer you my gentle guidance to meet your Inner Wild Places. Together we will cultivate an inner environment of change, offering a kind and loving attention to your Inner Rivers of experience (sensation, emotion, thought, and beyond).

 

I hold an inner strength and an outer softness. I can stay in contact with my own fragility while standing firmly upon my own solidness. I cannot heal you, but I can offer a gentle attention where healing may naturally take place. I cannot take away your pain, but I can guide you into it and be with you with it, so you come a little more alive in the end. I can offer my silent attention as you access your guidance within.

 

I have chosen to be a beacon of permission to grieve, to love, to fully live; to create beauty out of grief; to sing a fresh heart’s song; to create spaces where the animal of our bodies can just be bodies, to fully emote and express.

 

I could never have arrived here without the guides and teachers who tread the path before me, who gave the talks and wrote the books, who held space for me on Zoom and in phone calls, gently showing me the way back into my own heart, back into my own wholeness. I have been guided and held in presence, it is now my turn to offer the same to you.

 

If you’d like to meet with me, please be in touch. I’d love to hear from you!